thoughts that flow in and about

transportation

2009-07-26T13:33:00.003+02:00

I travel back to the states Monday am. I tried to leave last night but the flight was over sold. So I have had another day in Delhi. The universe most of wanted me to. Its been well, hot but well. Most time to see the contrast of this colorful world with a big mall on one side of the street and a village on the other folks practically living on the street. I wish I could take a photo that showed the contract but I'm sure I'll be able to post some of mine once I'm back in the states.

I have not posted in a while because of my traveling and the electricity going out a bunch at the Ashram. I'll have more time to reflect on my travels during my flight that is about 15 hrs but for now here are some travel thoughts, reflections....
- being white I get charged like a bunch more then India's in ricksaw autos. You have to bargain hardcore. I've gotten used to that. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto_rickshaw
- you need to go with the flow as folks are driving fast in 8 lanes of traffic and driving fast on the opposite side of the the street with cars coming at you.
- I road a scooter and a motorcycle in Hairdwar ( it wasnt as crazy with the traffic) and touched the Ganges River with my feet and hand!
- I've taken a bicycle ricksaw to Pink City in Jaipur
and used Yosif as my driver for the day in Jaipur going all around town for hrs and hrs. I paid him well and it was great to have the comfirt of one driver for the day.
- Traveling fancy style on the train you can do if you have money
- The train station in Agra - there where a bunch of kids/ young adults with Polio that I gave food to and talked with . Really sad.
- I met a Polish guy on platform 2 in Agra going to Delhi and hung out at the Taj Mahal with 2 Canadian Poles in Agra!!! The world is so small.
- I've eaten train food and see folks go to the bathroom from outside my train window. Tons of folks.
- I've used the India Toilet on the train while it was moving and am very good at it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squat_toilet
- I have not taken a bus and i'm fine with that. I have taken the metro
- I've walked a bunch on the side of the road with cars flying by you.
- I've loved my train travels and hope to visit the Rail Museum on my next trip here.
- Anuradha is a good driver
- It will be interesting to be on an American road sooner then later and see how that feels.
In general it will be interesting to feel the difference in rhythm from here to there and from there to here.

for now, signing off and will reflect more as I fly and will type more when I land on the other side of the sea.

Much peace to all from a little Internet cafe down the street from anuradhas place with cows and dogs and people and temples and mango's outside in the heat.

Laura

4 frog, ants, toes, star stickers and a clinic

2009-07-16T10:51:00.006+02:00

The day began as the sun came up a bit after 5:30am.
Yoga, a walk, prayers and then a bit of time to write before breakfast.
As I walked outside my building this am I saw about 4-5 flogs sleeping in the crack of the door. On my way into breakfast - the dinning hall that we eat in all sitting on the ground in long rows facing each other, yesterday there were tons of ants and this am a bunch of them all eating a dead frog by the wall.
I sort of looked at it, others did also and then went on eating breakfast. I trying to not think about the many other ants all around me.
Its amazing your how your tolerance level changes in different environments.

Before 9am the day had already so much happening. I gave back mandala art work kids made, hung out playing outside and got invited to come to see the Sri Ram Health Clinic that Andrea running with her husband. A clinic for the locals. I attend from 9-11am.
wow, ok where to start...
The building was across the field from the ashram, through a gate, past a little brick pass way that a guy zoom by on this moder cycle on, past the school and then the clinic. A beautiful building with flowers all around and super clean and all. About 15 people were waiting.
I got to sit in the same room at Andrea a nurse while she talked and looked and treated each patient. wow
so much, I'll share a little. 2 girls with infected big toes, they got them cleaned and wrapped up again. I gave them start stickers. Women with pains old age or a older man with an ear infection. An amazing thing is that even thought these folks are so so poor they are so rich in so many other ways and in the clothes they wear. They are so beautiful with gems and glitter and all....One of the ha was a little 4 year old girl who got run over by a truck a few months back.
She comes in 3x a week to get her dressing changed. She could walk but her hip is out of place now. I guess she was in the hospital for a while and got surgery and all and some western folks helped pay for it. The truck driver also payed them off. Andrea unwrapped the dressing and I don't think I have even seen such a site but I guess it is healing well. she cleaned it while I held the little girls hand and the girl was so good. Ican't even image the pain she must of been in and is still in. I also gave her a sticker.

Talk also about where we come from...they would get a crayon on their way out for the visit and some would just look at the crayon like... "what is this?" for real. they didn't know. Can you image having no knowledge of a crayon? Also the Clinic takes donations of 1 Indian Rupie for meds. Check out this conversion -> 1.00 INR=0.0205220 USD some families can't even pay that much!!!
oh my goodness that is hard, really hard.
There of course are parts of me that want to just hang out at the clinic and hold the kids hands and make art with them while they wait.

I hope I have not overwhelmed to much of you. And if you feel like you would like to donate to the clinic check out:

When I came back from the clinic I cleaned up and right away kids were asking when art would start, so I got out supplies and we tissues papered over some leave bowls (that our afternoon snack was in yesterday) that just get thrown a way. I had about 20 kids and tissues paper all over the place. But it was fun and also I was really tired.

For lunch I ate a bit and then, I've been meaning to write that we compost and for about 70 people who eat we only have a paint bucket that is filled a couple inches for each meal!! talk about no waste. everyone eats really well. Meals are rice with bread and some sort of hot veggie dish.

Ok, I think that is enough for now.
I'm going to rest and then visit the local village later with Swapna.

Much Peace and I'm sure I'll have more stories to share about frogs and kids, and all.
Laura DiDi (older sister) that is what they call elders for respect :)

Do you have a cow?

2009-07-15T17:22:00.003+02:00

That was one of the questions I was asked today by Neema... Do I have a cow? :)

She was really serious about it. I just smiled and said no but I do have a black and white cat. Ya know I should of said her name is cow!! I guess I do have a cow, she is just very, very little :)

That was just after a bunch of kids showed me the cows that we get the milk from. Also we saw a bunch of lemon, mango, pomagranite and pear trees.

The electricity goes out all the time and no one really bats and eye, we just go about doing what we are doing and then the lights and fans go on again.

Today it rained!!! one girl asked me if I like the Sunny season of the rainy season better?

I smiled again and said I like both and today especially liked that it rained. It has not rained in a really long time and the earth really needed it along with us!!!

Its been really really hot. I bath about 3 times a day and dry off in minutes just air dry.

The food is totally amazing! All homemade and we eat on the ground in the dinning hall. Tonight there were tons of ants crawling around but that did not seem so strange to folks.

The ants stayed away from our dishes which was nice of them.

I made drawn and decorated mandala's with about 20 kids today on circle paper and that was a bunch of fun. We worked on the ground and were spread out all over the place.

We take off our shoes when we enter rooms which is nice.

When I first arrived within about a few hrs I was holding a 5month old that fell a sleep in my arms and today hung out with 1.5 year old that sat on my lap. I giggle a lot with the 7 year olds and draw with chalk and chat with the teenagers.

I sleep in a big, huge building by myself because there are no other guests visiting at the moment. Its a little scary but I try not to be that scared of the dark. I think about you taan, and then I'm not so scared of the dark.

Ok, it is about 9pm and i think I will crash out we get up at 5:50 am for prayers and yoga.

love and shanti to all

laura

Finally a few photos to share!

2009-07-13T17:14:00.008+02:00

Hope you enjoy these photos to start with. It's been hard to upload stuff from the internet cafe.

But enjoy these, much peace

laura

ओल्ड delhi

2009-07-12T18:02:00.008+02:00

here goes for a mini bit of today.

hot weather
internet cafe
eggs and potatoes
a bath and washing clothes
hot
fans
cars and cars and cars
begging kids
drinking water
metro
these seats are for ladies
mind the gap
red fort
baths
only bottled water
amazing clothes
families
McDonalds
trash
pee smell
jasmane flower smells
people
narrow roads
great food
eyes
the heat and park
no street lights
2 eggs in a paper bag
queer friends
so many worlds in one day
so many worlds over lapping in moments
passing over and around and through each other.

more now
how many worlds do you cross in a day an hr, a few minutes?

laura

ओल्ड डेल्ही

2009-07-12T18:02:00.001+02:00

2 dollar clothes, cow in the street, a lizard in the kitchen and its day 2

2009-07-11T07:50:00.005+02:00

Dear friends around the world,
It's only my 2nd day in India and it seems so much longer। Yesterday for my b-day in the afternoon
Anuradha drove us to a few markets in town. On that had very cheap clothes and other things like lichi (sp?) fruit on a branch. I got some long shirts for my travels to the ashram next week. I also bought myself a really beautiful orange patterned bed sheet. At that Market there were a bunch of folks but it sort of reminded me of Poland at the Russian market and in Israel. I think for someone who has not spent time in Eastern Europe or the Middle East it might of been much more challenging to handle but it was not that bad. I guess I don't stand out that much either because of my clothes I am wearing. Who new I had some many India clothes that would fit right into this culture.

As we parked the car, I did see my first really big cow on the street just hanging out, and on the way to the market a young girl came up to our car begging which was really intense because her hand was really bloody. There is so much going on that in a way it is hard to have it stick with you which is crazy right?

After that market we went to another one. I will get the names of the places soon. I'm bad at that part. But this market was more like artisans and crafters. I bargains for a great bag and a small print. I used the bathroom there which was clean.

Have I told you about the bathrooms? There is a hole in the ground and places to put your feet and you squat down to do your duty and then there is a little tap with a cup and you wash yourself (with your left hand). No paper. It actually was not that hard to get used to.

At this market we ate dinner (hot food don't worry) and I gave some water to a really hot cat that drank a bunch of it. As we were leaving the market I saw a dog (there are dogs all over the place) that looked like it was on its last few hrs of life. Really hard to see and just pass on. but what would I do? I tried to give it water but no response. I was really hot yesterday and today even hotter! I think today its about 98 degrees and very humid. But I am handling it. You wash up in the night before bed and in the am to stay cool.

Ok so i'm all over the place but I will tell you about my bedding. I sleep on a futon on the ground with just a sheet on top with fans going all night. It feels good and not to hot.

I woke up this am and it was hot outside and the sun shinning. I decided to cook breakfast and I opened the kitchen door to find a little lizard friend that joined me while I was cooking just hanging out on the wall.
I made us tea with milk power and I added sugar into mine. I chopped up potatoes and onions, cabbage, garlic and some herbs that anuradha added in. Oh we also added in tomatoes and cooked it a bunch until it was very hot! that is the deal much eat hot food.
Fingers crossed I have not gotten "delhi belly" yet and hope it will stay that way, we will see.
I've been drinking a bunch of bottled water as well. Lots of it!

What else to share about my adventures? I'm off to do some more exploring this morning/afternoon to an area that anuradha said feels very different. Its just around the corner from her place.

As for photos, I'm taking a bunch and still trying to figure out how to upload them onto a computer. we will see.

For now, everyone stay cool and know that I am doing well and loving it so far.

I'll write again soon,
much peace to alllaura
लौरा
ap.s. what happened when folks came to the states that street markets went a way and folks just hid a way in there little houses? I love that folks are out and about and that the inside and outside are almost like one. - much more in touch with nature.

b-day in Delhi, India

2009-07-10T08:46:00.002+02:00

Hello folks,
So, I am celebrating my 33rd b-day in Delhi, India.
I arrived all safe and sound, just with a little bit of a funny belly I think because of just stressed about my arrival in a new place and all.
Anuradha and her friend picked me up and we drove back to here place on a 3 lane road with like 5 lanes of cars, bikes, folks etc. I slept pretty well and then relaxed on the roof top about 6am and then crashed out a bit more in the am before washing up, eating some toast and tea, waiting for the rain to pass (i think I brought it from the east coast) and then out for a little adventure about the neighborhood. So far so good. No really any strange looks, I bought myself some water with no problem and now i'm off to get some bread.
Not in to much of culture shock. The housing reminds me of israel a bit. I did only pass by one other white person so far on the street and there are many guys around not many women on the streets but I feel fine.
There are folks on the street selling food and goods, trash piles someone was digging in and a college around the corner, a guy peeing on the side of the road, a kid putting a wheel on a truck, a man sewing in a little shop, a women ironing shirts on the street.

The flow of folks walking and driving in a pretty amazing rhythm that it flows all together, you just have to be careful as anuradha said its not like the states where the cars will wait for you. Here you have to watch for the cars.

I'm looking forward to how the afternoon unfolds and what will be for lunch.

much peace to everyone.
laura in a little internet cafe down the street from anuradha roof top home

India here I come!

2009-07-08T15:14:00.001+02:00

Dear Earthy Beings, Today I will travel from boston- chicago then on to Delhi, India. I'm super excited. I have never been to India before and I will have a long flight to think/read all about it. I can't wait to share my thoughts with all of you. much peace and colorfulness Love Laura

Part 8: Goodbye and Driving back to Warsaw

2008-01-01T03:00:00.000+01:00

After Church we had to say our goodbyes, I met a few more family members, -how is everyone related now?

We all pile into our cars, we give a ride back to Helena (who says keep in touch) and Joshef to Richards's house.

We all say keep in touch and come and visit again soon. I still can't believe that all this is really happening at all but it really it.

We wave and drive down the street into the fog and back to Warsaw, the next day I leave for America.

- Life has peculiar timing, but is also pretty magical.

Part 7: Church

2008-01-01T02:05:00.000+01:00

We all file into church and it is packed and cold. They push me in to go sit down but I don't move, I'm not sure what to do, or where to go.

Nika's in her car resting, she didn't want to come into church. That was fine. I felt I had to go for the family and all.

We file in the pews and sit and pray and sing. My family takes communian and I stay in my place. I thought this part would really akward but it wasn't. No everyone got up, which made me feel better.

I should remind folks that everything was in Polish, the sermon and all. It is really cold, no heat, that is to much money but it was o.k. you could just see your breath.

The service went about an hr-ish and they did mention my family, I mean the distant ones because it was Stan's 1st year of his death coming up.

It was amazing and still is amazing to me to be in the real church that my great, great grandmother were praying in and got christened in!. and I was there also now like over 100 years later!

Part 6: The Cemetery

2008-01-01T00:52:00.000+01:00

Part 6:
The Cemetery is to the back of the church. We drive Helena and Josef in the car and I think 2 other cars of family members came along as well. With candles in bags we walked to the graves. We stopped at Teofil grave 1st and behind his grave was my great great grandfathers and mothers grave. Kazmier and Elizabeta. I was amazing to see it. It didn’t have a big sign on it just a small one but it was theirs.

I pulled out my bag of soil. Soil from the memorial garden that my grandmothers – Bernice Krogol ashes are on. I’ve had a bag of soil for a bit in Polish on the shelf not really knowing the best place to put it and no place was right until now. This was perfect place! On my grandmothers - Bernice, grandmothers grave – Elizabeta.

Wow, I can’t believe that really happened.
I came full circle. I am standing on the land my great, great grandmother and family stood on and prayer on and worked on. How amazing.

We walked to a few more graves to Richard's Father's Grave. Stan. Flowers are placed all around , as flowers and candles are on graves all around as well.

I also meet another one of Richard's Brothers and his wife. She is really friendly and nice to meet.

Now we much go to church its just about 11am I think.

Part 5: Drive back to Lomza/Breakfast and the house

2007-11-21T22:00:00.000+01:00

Driving back to Lomza was an adventure in its own. It was extremely dark out and very foggy. We drove slowly and with care. Nika was a big trooper to have driven. I was a bit scared, I think she did also not know exactly where we were and the twists and turns in the road, as cars would come up quickly and pass up like in a ghost movie.

Finally we got back and crashed out pretty fast. I showered and was still surprised the whole thing happened today. Wow it was totally amazing. Now needing some sleep we slept, and really well we did.

We got up at about 9:15. Nika showed and I got ready as well. We had a nice breakfast at the hotel; just another guest was in the rest aunt. We listened to pop music and Nika sang along over drinking tea, eating eggs, bread and a few other yummy things. Now it’s about 10:15 and we need to get ready to drive to Korzeniste again. I’m nerves about going to Church and what I’m going to do as everyone takes communion. I’m stressed out this morning about what this whole life dream will be like in the daytime.
We drive.

We arrive at the house at 11am on the dot and I take some photos outside. The house is old and a bit run down. They share it with a bunch of other people. They live on the far right side on the top floor. A small flat with perhaps a living room/dinning room, kitchen, and a bedroom or 2. We only saw the living room/dinning room. The toilet was outside in the barn to the back of the house.

Where do they shower?
Is there a sink?
What must it be like in the middle of winter to have to use the bathroom at night?

What if you are ill like Teresa was saying Richard was sometimes. She says they are using their money for dr. bills and not a toilet inside. We go inside and to our surprise was most of the family again and 2 of the sisters and family. They said yesterday that they would not be here today so this was extra nice! We sit for a bit, were offered tea but don’t need any. We all get into our cars Babcia(grandma) Helena and Josef in our and drive to the cemetery first.

What does a family look like?
What is a home anyway?

Part 4: On the way to Richard’s eating and meeting

2007-11-21T19:20:00.000+01:00

So at this point it’s totally cold and even more black and we tell Richard on the cell we are coming and for more driving directions.

We start to drive, Richard says he will be outside waiting; (Nika tells him to go inside it’s dark and cold outside) they say turn at the Mary, so I see one on the left, we turn around but it’s the wrong one. This brings back memories of travels around PL and how the marries are markers like street signs, go after, around part, look for the Mary…so we were.
We find the big cross, I guess not a Mary and left right we are driving slowly and 2 people are walking to the side. We roll down the window and in my strange Polish I ask where is the Brzozowski Dom (Home) and she says I’m Brzozowka!! I started to cry and we hugged each other from the car (this was Helena, Richard’s mom, and also Josef, one of Richards Brothers. Family!

We drive to the house and I get out of the car, I thanks and give Richard a big hug and kiss, - to people I don’t even know but are distant family.
We go inside, up the stairs into their sky bright blue living room. Teresa is there, Richards’s wife and she gives Nika and me a big hug. It’s like a dream.
I give them a box of chocolates, and a bag with note cards and a Christmas Ornament in it. They say thank you and put it a side.Sitting at the Table:

Sitting at the table and I don’t really know what to do so I pull out my file/folder with my family chart information and show them more how we are related.

Richards’s wife says later we can look at photos and stuff but now we must eat!!

So then the gomomki came out and of course I need to explain that I’m veggie and don’t eat meat. So I explain. And then Nika eats in inside - meat and I eat the outside - the cabbage. I normally would not do this but I felt I had to do it, so I did.

I’ve been veggie for about 20 years I explain and they are very surprised. Why, how,…

Eating went on for a long, long time, like hours, (the whole time we are there) I guess it’s a sort of way to break the silence and unfamiliar, the newness all around.
Teresa really wants to cook me something else I kept saying I’m o.k. But she really insisted on cooking me something else. So, noodles and milk it was. Something really basic that I’ve never had before. It’s pretty common the PL countryside. It was good. Really nice. I ate that and then she still wanted us to eat more cakes and cookies. She said this one was called “American” cake. Not sure how it was but it was good. As we ate and talked and asked each other our ages and showed off photos and laughed and smiled a bunch.

I ask where the bathroom is after drinking so much amazing Rose Herbata (tea) and Teresa says she is sorry but it is outside. No worries I said. She gets her flashlight; we walk down the stairs, outside and to the back, to a barn and in a couple doors until the toilet. I can’t see anything its dark as dark, I say that to Teresa and she shines the light on me. Talk about an intimate exchange. We just met a couple hrs before and how we are in the bathroom basically together just a little bit of the door the is between us.

Done.

We walk out and I ask in my Polish if they have any animals, chickens perhaps? She points to me a beautiful looking rabbit. I’m petting it and realize that this rabbit is not just a pet, its meat for probably the holidays. I breathe, and know this life is so different then mine.

We walk back in the dark arms interlocked, up the stairs and eat some more.

Daughters:

Richard went out and got 2 of his daughters. They are about 33 and 28 years old. They have kids about 2 each I think ranging from about 3-13 years old. We give each other hugs and kisses and talk a bit again with help from Nika with translation. They ask how old I am and are surprised that I’m 31. They say I look younger, I guess I do. I think it’s the way I dress and my life style. Its pretty amazing how our lives and in a way lined out for us, or the circumstances we are born into. Why is this? Also in the same family?

We all talk about how we are related again, so Richard is my 2nd cousin once removed.
My mom and Richards grandparents were siblings. Alexandra Brzozowski and Teofil Brzozowski.

We talk more and then another sister appears the youngest and she looks like my sister Leigh Alexandra – named after my great grandmother Alexandra.

We all have dark hair and dark eyes. I would always ask my mom how are we Polish, are we really Polish? Most Poles I’ve met have lighter hair. But, we have dark. They say we must be family!

Helena mentions she remembers getting packages from the states from family. This must have been a long while back. My mom remembers family sending packages, or at least remembers her mom saying they did.

I remember my great grandmother like a dream, sitting on her lap in Southgate Michigan as a small baby gal.

They asked me how I got interested in looking for family?
Are my parents still living?
Where do I live?

On the coach we sit and talk more and eat more. I share some note cards I made with children with cancer in Warsaw Hospitals. They are seasonal cards and we guess which season they are for!

We chat more and giggle and it’s getting late so Nika and I say we must go. They really want us to stay longer but we have a hotel and need to get back. Maybe in the Spring I say. We’ll see you tomorrow at 11am, meeting at the house, I would like to take a few photos in the daylight, then to the cemetery before church at 12noon. We explain we have to leave right after church for Warszawa. Teresa really want us to stay longer but we can’t. Tonight or tomorrow.

What a day in a different reality. What is reality anyway?

Part 3: The Priest’s visit and the church at night

2007-11-21T16:54:00.000+01:00

We passed the church and went to the priest’s house, it smells like animals and the dogs are barking. We ring the bell and he answers the door and invites us into his office.

The Priests office: The office was small with a computer with changing flowers and nature’s scenes on it as a screen saver. We sat down and I didn’t really know what to say first.. I can’t really remember where it started. Maybe with a thank you for all your help? And do you have the documents? He did! He had them for 3 of the siblings. Teofil, Antoni, and Alexandra. All christened in this village more then 100 years before.

They would cost 30zl each about 15 dollars. I asked the priest if he had more information about my great great grandfather/mother, Kazimierz and Elzbieta but he said the books don’t go back that far. I would have to look in another office in Lomza for that information. (my mom wanted to know their maiden names to get more ancestry details.). He looked search more for the Greloch's and found some more information but nothing that lined up with our family. I asked to take photos of “the books” but he said it was private property and I could only take a photo of the outside of these old books so I did. I also asked how the books survived the Wars? He said they were protected. It’s amazing to me how a little book like this has the information about my family and it survived war. It’s just hard to believe, that this book was somewhat the key to our knowing where my family was from. A book.

The Church: I asked if we could see the church not knowing what the priest would say that his point because it was very dark by this time but he said sure. So, we walked over to the dark church at night. Snow on the ground and I’m thinking where am I? who am I with? where am I going? In the middle of the deep dark country side with a friend and a priest. It feels like its after midnight and its only really about 4pm. I learned that this church was built with a particular stone method not usually used and that the church cemetery was behind the church and I would go tomorrow on Sunday to see it. The priest says wait a moment and he goes in and starts to put on the lights in this magical place. It’s hard to explain that we are in complete darkness, the sky is cloudy and its cold outside and we just trusting him in this place this place my great grandmother and great grandmother once stood and prayed. The lights went on and it was sort of out of a movie. Everything so clean, shinned up and I could even hear the music already. The church felt unfamiliar to me but also I felt at home in this cold dark place. No heat, its to expensive. We can see out breath. The priest invites us back tomorrow for Mass he says its in memory of the family Brzozowski so I guess I must go. I’m worried about how the communion situation will go but its fine. No worries.

It’s like I stepped foot through the darkness into a time warp. What would a time warp look like to you?

Part 2:The Polish Distance Family adventure in the mist - Saturday morning- Finding the church and the Priest.

2007-11-20T22:06:00.000+01:00

The physical journey started on Saturday morning November 17th, 2007 in Warszawa, Polska.

I got up and was ready for Nika to pick me up. Olga didn’t go because she was sick and getting better. Nika is Olga’s friend. So we started off. Nika said the hardest thing is getting out of Warsaw, I guess that was mostly true.

The drive took about 2.5hrs and we were in Lomza. On the way from Warsaw – Lomza cars and trucks passed us. We passed bikes and pedestrians. We drove about 70klm an hr., which was just right on a mostly 2 lane road. Not sure what you would call them in the states. Like a country road. But newly paved.

We got to Lomza and checked in the hotel. It was the Gromada in Lomza and they had a car park so we didn’t need to worry about the car. We asked at the reception where the church was I was looking for and they didn’t know. She was really confused and I was also. The Priest will know and that was true he did. All was well we went up to the room and Nika called the Priest to say we were now in Lomza and where was the church to meet him at. I had no idea but the priest was at his home next to the church in a small village 6klm past korzeniste.

So, my mom found this church on the Internet. It’s still so amazing to me that she found it and it had a cell phone listed and an e-mail address. So the priest said he had a training but to come over after 3:30. It’s good we reached him because he was just about to switch off this phone for a few hrs. So it was still a little light out we took a 20min nap and then work up and get something to eat at a little restaurant besides the hotel.

Then off to the home of the priest and the church. We did call Richard and let him know we were seeing the priest and then we would call him when we were finished. Nika said its up to me which way to drive, we can go past kozeniste now or on the way back from the priest. I wanted to see Korzeniste the daytime (ish) of what was left of it so we passed it on the drive.

We passed Maly Plock on the way, the little village where my letter was delivered to.
Then we drove on…. I got out of the car and took a picture of myself by the sign of Korzeniste.

It’s still totally unreal to me. The light was getting darker and we drove through the mist, the fog until the church. It’s the same as in the picture on the website, we must be in the correct place!

What does a dream reality look like to you?

Part 1: Night before the Polish Distant Family Adventure

2007-11-16T23:16:00.000+01:00

The night before my Polish distant family adventure, I'll share a few thoughts.

It began over 100 years ago in Poland when Alexandra Brozozwska Greloch was christened at a church in Lomza or Kozeniste, Polska. This is a picture of her, she is my great grandmother, then my grandmother (nana) Bernice (Greloch) Krogol, and my mom about 6 years before I was even around Juanita (Krogol) Steinman.

I was living in Poland for about 5 years. Around 2002-2007.
At that time doing some family looking but this summer/fall it got more intense. Well,I moved back to the states, the Boston area so not in PL anymore and my mom (Juanita) was doing more family looking with some help from some church folks I think in Rochester, NY. I told her she needed to get on it because I was heading back to PL (Warsaw) for a month and I wanted to figure stuff out.

I made a big family tree on 2 or 3 pieces of paper and gave them to her to draw out in detail and make sense of the names and all.
But she did even better, she found dates and photos and the ships ( with help from the folks in Rochester) where my great grandfather and great grandmother were on!

So, we had more details from that about where they came from.
Mom found out what Parish covered the area and they had an e-mail, cell # and website! wow.

So, now I'm back in Waw and I ask my friend Greg to call he priest and say I would like to visit and look for records. He says write an e-mail, so I do, Olga translates it, Greg and Kasia look it over and we send it along.
At about 1am I get a message back saying he found a match for my great grandmother! Still looking for Greloch but found Brozozwska!
oh my goodness this is amazing, so I write back I want to visit.he says sure and I can have copies of the records.
So I thought I would visit with Greg but then Valerie is up north working/living now and she can only visit (last weekend) so I decide to wait on Lomza (because I don't have so many details yet) and go to Torun with Valerie. So we did and it was a great trip.
But that same day I was about to leave I get another e-mail from the Priest because I wanted to know if anyone was alive in the area, and guess what there is!!!! Richard Brozozowski! And I get to meet him tomorrow!

The Priest give me his address, so I write to him with Agnieskza and my mom's help on what to say. I try to send it 2x from different post office but no help, I need a postal code, I don't have one and time is running out because I'm going back to the states on Monday and its Friday the week before now.
Now its Saturday and then Sunday, I'm back in Warsaw from Torun and Olga's aunt and Uncle are over for dinner, Olga is sick and can't go with me to Lomza and the little village where Richard lives but we are working on that as well. I'll ask Katazyna. That does not work. I ask a bunch of folks.

So, it comes to me asking more and more folks and while Wojtek is look for the code and Olga on-line, Danusia called the Parish in Lomza, tells the story a bit and then gets a name of a village that you need to send the letter to.
So, we have the village name and Olga checks the code now on-line and I put the letter in a fresh envelope.
Now sleep.zzzzzz

Monday comes around, I send the letter in the morning. Priority mail.
and wait
and wait and
wait.. Everyone asking if I had heard anything yet.
Then on Wed evening I get a Phone call while I just left Iwona's and I'm about to get into the metro.
It's Richard!!! he got the letter in a few days and called me. In my funny Polish I told him my polish is jako tako and in 1/2 hr I would be home with someone who can speak English and we would call back.
Also while all this is going on, I'm still looking for someone to go with to Lomza, Olga is sick, folks are busy with other things, and Olga thinks of calling her friend Nika! and that works out, oh that was on Wed afternoon so I had a friend who was even going to drive! before I new the Richard had called.
So we called him back and Olga said he sounds older and nice on the phone and to call tomorrow and I can stop by, so tomorrow is around the corner and I'm excited to go, nervous and excited and just wondering,
where do he live?
what does he do?
Can I see my great great grandmothers grave?

I'm bringing soil from the memorial garden at church in Rochester from where my nana is now. Soil full circle and back again from the place her mother came from.

All of this is totally amazing, I need to get some sleep.
What does looking for family look like? It looks like this.

late at night, early morning ripples

2007-10-31T00:57:00.001+01:00

As the Sky is dark and rainy, I think about the ripples of our connections.
I think about how everything means something and everything effects what we do and what we have done.This Human Rights mandala was created by an inter generational group of EUU folks during the fall retreat in Munster, Germany. These folks are a family to me.
The energy of creating a mandala ripples with me so much. It fills my soul, my insides.

I just have to know that this energy will fill me even when its raining outside and inside my soul.

Life is so challenging and the little pieces are so heavy. The little pieces are so heavy. I hope it will become clearer to me as the days get brighter, as the time moves on, as the ripples go out into the world and surround us all.

blessings big wide small world. May we be ever creating ripples of peace and justice for all of humanity.

What do your ripples look like?

as the sky darkens at night

2007-05-23T22:59:00.000+02:00

I’m freaked out Freaked out about jumping in and having to run away wet. I’m scared but not wanting to show it. I’m wondering which way to go and who will be there to point me in the direction that I will probably pick the other to go in. I’m going to miss my cat and the veggies my small group of friends, flower outside my window, my bike. I’m going to miss this home, this space. I know I’ll miss her also the used to be lover now friend. I’m freaked out with the what if’s I’m scared about the big shops and not having my aunt the way I remember. I’m scared about the government and cry for peace. But, I must move on, I must cross the ocean and fill my soul with songs and love. I must believe that love will find a way into my heart to stay. I have hope it just sometimes get filled with scared bubbles that fill my inside as tears come down my face. I’m ready to have some stability in my life. Something to hold onto, someone to hold onto as the stars appear as the sky darkens at night and someone who will still be there as the bright new day begins. I’m scared, I’m freaked out and I have hope. I have soul filled love for this one.

train travels

2007-05-07T23:00:00.000+02:00

In about a month of train travels I've been moving
= Warsaw, - Berlin, - Krakow, - Poznan, - Wroclaw, - Leszno , =
and all the little villages, towns, cities- along the way.

Poland's PKP train company has made this all possible.

Travels in the early morning, midday, and as the sun sets.
the Train moves and I move forward and backwards as we travel.

Watching, talking, sleeping ,eating, using the bathroom as we all move together traveling in time. In these fast and slow moments, pulses. We are all moving forward but some are sitting backwards.
I can handle both now, after all the train travel.

Sometimes the view is vast ~ sometimes you see the paint falling off the train station stop and the beggar and drunks around the corner.
Sometimes I see picnics on little bridges, sometimes markets, sometimes cows and sheep and sometimes cars and other trains with travelers.

Sometimes we move as slow as a bike but we are a train.
and sometimes the time goes so quickly it feels like a plane.

On a train you can sit back and watch the non-stop movie that goes by. The movie of reality that we are all apart of, go on and on and on.

My train travels has brought me to friends I don't see so often, has brought me to song, and songs along the way, the train has fed me along with the milkshake in Leszno on the street. The beers on the boat in Wroclaw and the train that brought me to the taxi that brought me to the what we think was the village of 4 houses that my great grand mother was from some 100 years back. She probally also took trains travels. Train travels to far away lands.

Trains have a peace to them, the movment like a rocking chair, the sounds so familiar, the people always different.

The need to take trains is in my body and heart. The need to travel, to train travel to learn more and watch and stop and listen and wander as time moves on. I move with it.

next stop....
who knows?

10,000miles it feels that way

2007-03-18T23:59:00.000+01:00

Did I miss the train I'm on?.....
This weekend:
Cleaning out my photos, looking at I thought was about 7,000 and now I think about 10,000 of them. Crazy right. from 2004-March 2007. Not even 3 years put so many images stories, songs, adventures. I feel like that is why I am so tired. I just traveled back 3 years to all thoses places and now I must move forward.
But I also must clean up the past for the future. This is really hard stuff to do. Really hard. But it must be done. for my computer for the first place and for some order and then some more sharing of these stories, these adventures. where have you been, what pictures to you have to share in the last 3 years? What does it say?

life is in a village, across an ocean and right here

2007-02-23T00:34:00.000+01:00

reflections of a week from here to there -across the ocean, to a little village, and back

life makes you laugh
giggling hurts
stories fill your mind with pictures, sounds and feelings
animals suffer in the cold
watching a fire burn is a mediation
listen to voices from far a way bring you near
the sunshine can fill your whole day, your whole self with joy
hard work come from the soul
work from your soul
good food keeps you warm
good food comes with love attached
when it is cold, sit by a fire with a friend
when there is snow go for a walk
say hello to strangers in little towns
pet the dogs
take photos to remember you were there
don't let other peoples issues overcome you
look from a distance
remember what the point was in the beginning
sometimes it snows inside the train
sometimes it can be a packed bus
watch for the little moment that make a big difference
remember that everyone is trying to be helpful in there own way
live this moment
congratulate
do things that make you a little scared
love
give
share
go to an orphanage even to be with one child
cook good food
stay warm
talk to family
sleep well
have peaceful dreams
remember, everyone has a suitcase and you never know what is inside
remember, everyone has a suitcase.
remember we all do
listen
love
and try not to understand it all
we never will

the beginning of the week almost

2007-01-27T20:42:00.000+01:00

...it's almost the beginning of the week.

Over about 2 months have passed since I last blogged, I have been on over something like 16 airplanes, to the states, israel, france, the states again and Poland. My home base at the time being.

There have been new moons,
starry nights,
amazing food,
goats eating my clothes,
long warm walks in the desert,
cold nights listening to bombs,
candle lighting with friends near and far,
I am thankful for...words and songs, and prayers,
sharing tears,
laughing until you pee,
hearts beating so fast long plane rides cuddling with my cat making art with little ones,
and big ones and all in between resting floating in the dead sea,
questioning this life living in the moment wanting to live in the past trying to understand the future and what it brings waiting for this new week to bring more hope, peace, and health to everyone and most importantly my Aunt Brenda Seligman, my life inspiration.

When your life gets flipped upside down what do you do?

I suppose the best thing to do is to look both ways before you cross the street and make sure you hold each others hands and say hello and smile as you go on our way. shalom and shavua tov laura

this little land, world, border spot

2006-11-14T23:51:00.000+01:00

I just got back from seeing the film "Breakfast on Pluto", an amazing must see film about the life of an individual and the community that surrounds.
It was amazing to sit and watch a film with so much diversity in it. The scenes were so clean, plot intense and filled with so much love.

In this land, this little big world we live in, all I hope for is for individuals and communities to love and care for everyone no matter what pieces parts, what luggage everyone's with. I know it is a big dream, but we just dream big, if not we have no hope they will come true.

So, in this big wide little world, what do you hope and dream for?

Chicago Calling a Dreamer

2006-10-26T01:01:00.002+02:00

Beautiful Dreamer

Beautiful anarchist (beautiful dreamer)
sending messages, writing manifestoes,
believing in free love
even though it fell
out of fashion
long ago.

Passion, and freedom;
hope, and illusion;
truth, and
the way you want
the world to be.

Forget your losses,
the battles not won,
the plans unrealized,
the chores left undone.

Consider yourself lucky to be still standing
though the reasons for standing are long gone.
Witness the unfathomable
though others look away
or don’t know what they’re seeing anyway.
Meandering meanings are changing and fading away,
fading away into the nostalgic myth of yesterday.

But you’re still here,
drinking light beer,
so what are you
complaining about.

Personas shuffling and shifting
like used paperback novels in the wind,
the ambiguity queen traipses
across the calligraphied universe.

Elizabeth Harper

As part of the Chicago Calling Project. I recieved this Poem from Elizabeth and created this mandala in responce to it!

Enjoy

What are your dreams about?

Chicago Calling a Dreamer

2006-10-26T01:01:00.001+02:00

Chicago Calling a Dreamer

2006-10-26T01:01:00.000+02:00

Shh, dancing, clapping and it sticks

2006-10-15T07:55:00.000+02:00

Simchat Torah
Oct 14th, 2006
Warszawa, Polska

Before this island in time vanishes from my thoughts, and havdalah is done, I share this story.
This fresh experience.
This memory.

The day was grey and I felt so grey inside.
The kind of day you leave the house and just want to come back and crawl into bed, but you don’t. You wander around your home cleaning and moving things around.

I did some laundry and the dishes, swept and check e-mail a bunch.

I redid Shabbat last night and it was super. In the Sukkah with my lady friend O.
We said the blessings, sang some pretty songs together to welcome in this special moment while below us people were boarding the bus.
As we finished with “Shabbat Shalom” and a big OM from lady O, the street was silent.
The OM finished and the cars began again.

How the universal listens at little moments is truly amazing. But I also have to know to listen for it.

So our challot was Pineapple pizza pieces with peppers on top, covered with a striped napkin and our wine was a little more like piwo, but plum flavoured. So they both count!

The moment was just right. It fixed my earlier non-shabbat make-beliveland of something not familiar to me.
But, still it was in me. I was still digesting it on this very grey day today.

Was not sure I would go to Twarda but Kasia was back in town, on the same tram root and it gave me that extra reason to go.
So, a bit after 6pm I waited in the cold night , boarded the tram, found Kasia 4 stops towards the city center and we were off.
Before we reach the synagogue a jar of juice was bought and we passed the sleeping police cars and trucks just in case.

We entered, down stairs everyone together talking and moving around, pews moved back and space.
Then, upstairs or to the back.
So up we went. I took some deep breaths in and just followed and looked around. The energy was pure, noisy and spiritual.
Separate but it didn’t seem to bother me, it was actually nice.

I looked down to see tops of colourful circles on heads and some eyes reaching mine. Shhhh.
I looked a way at the ladies next to me. Some used to take the 522 or 180 south and now they come here, in the city center for prayer and community.
Could I do this? What could I do?
Afterwards Old frozen bagel one asks me If I would be interested in a women’s service.
I would. More then ever.

So, a little bit of this and that understanding some with the echoes and then we went down stairs.
The magic began. Ladies and Men separately but in the same space.

The Torah was passed to us and was held like a baby. We stared to spin and clap and sing . The men just a few meters away doing the same. Also holding each other, the torah and spinning each other around. Jews of all kinds and traditions all together praising this book of stories that is told over and over again with new wisdom to be shared all around.

We dance and sing more and more, so many times the torah returns to us and is passed around. I kept my distance for my first. Perhaps next it will reach my hands. But for this time, I enjoyed watching, dancing singing and clapping all around. I can feel it inside me, my heart and soul and mind that I have some of this energy in my blood, this tradition.
The way the dancing happens the love that is all around. The community that is created.

She returns to our hands of life again and again that I can’t keep track, was that 4x or 5,” I ask.
We then dance over to a women who will is ready to deliver twins on Wednesday. We touch the torah to her and dance by her, sing to her and watch her glow. We dance together with an American, Canadian, Israel, Polish, Jew. We are here for this moment and I’m glad I have a keeper this mind picture in my soul.

The candy comes from the sky, from all around, the songs get louder, we eat as children run around our dancing. Some might say chaos, I would say community to the fullest. Everyone believing, loving and enjoying in their own moveable ways but together. Also creating a memory that sticks.
The American about 75 yr. old said how special it was to see this a live moment after visiting all the old death around PL.
I also said her is lucky to be here.
I was lucky.
The Universe wants this.

We headed outside and danced some more, cradling this scroll book of inspiration and danced again. Singing with all.
Inside once more with so many under the Chuppah reading and prayer, how many can you fit?
Candy flies into our hands and we begin again.
We begin again with love and a new week.

Chag Sameach and Shavua Tov
Laura, Lorka, Lauraleh, lo-lo

Autumn, New Beginnings

2006-09-23T11:01:00.000+02:00

It's the Jewish New Year 5767 and it feels like Autumn.
The smell, the golden sunshine, the crispt morning air and warm tea in hand.

I ushered in the New Year with song, prayer and a lot of food.
I will spend time in an amazing little garden world with my cat Krowka, and say hello and send blessings to Slonczko our Rabbit who past on just a year yesterday.

I wish for this new year to bring bright peaceful blessings to all.
I wish for this new year to bring boldness in our actions for justice.
I wish for this new year to bring clarity to our ever spiraling days.

I wish love to everyone.

What's love got to do with it? ... EVERYTHING, I say!

"Let us, go boldly into the unknown"

a month, and a moon away but so close

2006-09-02T23:08:00.000+02:00

a month a little more now back here smells like autumn feels like lato (summer) fruit tea in the morning bus riding to talk about memory, jews, a lady artist age 60 -makes art with little boxes and treatures inside bathroom stop, walking and tram riding - just one stop. computer, time, printmaking, writing letters time are changing before our eyes this is it, this is it green paint cover 10 meters of material under the trees shade and company of an art friend school space almost ready garden trip with cat on back soup, fried green tomatos and flowers to go back home, feels like a web a map that traces back to time before and faces forward. music on tv , computer in hand love all around, time for havdalah more tea, reading and perhaps some sleep. so close to all the traces but also moons away with what is next. dreams perhaps, dreams perhaps

What does the moon look like to you? if you trace it with your day?

1/2 a moon

2006-08-02T05:48:00.000+02:00

From this side of the world, I look up and currently I see 1/2 a moon. Do I see that other 1/2 when I'm in Central Eastern Europe? ....It feels like it, But I know it is the same. The same sky and stars, but when you land on the earth it is, another whole 1/2.

1/2 of this and half of that. It's probally this summer for the first time since the over 4 years that I have been living in Poland that I (in a little whisper voice) sort of miss the smiles, the variety of food, productive arty collaboration, farm projects, family gatherings, late night movies and giggles about house alarms. I mean, I miss those things always but it has not hit me to the heart as it has this summer. Why, I'm still trying to figure that all out.
Perhaps it's about my calling for what I should be, what my soul is calling me to do with my hours, days, years. My moments. Is it about personal Love relationships? Community building? Language? Connections? Peace? Perhaps a bit of it all.

Perhaps it is about being around people who are excited about similar things that I am excited about. Don't get me wrong, I have found folks in PL that are excited about what I am excited about but more of the time we are on different 1/2's of the moon light. Probally, I know it is the way we are grown up. How society has farmed me.

Sometimes it is delightful to be gathering and sowing, fighting, creating with our hearts with people that get us where we are on this side of the 1/2 and other times it is challenging, it is a must to gather and sow like you are on the other side of the moon.

What have you sown today?

a fighter

2006-06-19T08:55:00.000+02:00

I'm a fighter for what is equality right, what is correct, what should be.

According to many people around me, fighting doesn't always make a difference and in some situations they say it is not worth it and you should just walk away, or deal with it.
But of course my fighter self says make it work, make it correct, what is equal and another part of me says it is hurting me so much to fight this fight.
When do you know enough is enough and your not going to change everything and to just walk away?
When do you know?

This Monday morning, I am hoping for a week with answers, some respect and some understand from the place I work. From the Headmaster.

I am grateful for...

2006-06-01T22:44:00.000+02:00

me, age 4.

Another question, reflection from my CLF UU 'balance life' class is:
"Today I am grateful for...."
I've got a little book by the side of my bed and every night I start with that sentence and then finish the rest. Some nights are easier then others.
Try it.
It's pretty interesting.

Today, I'm grateful for International Children' Day.

Today was filled with children at school running around doing magic, drawing pictures, playing games and printing their hands on fabric.

The evening then was filled with a musical concert. Music of all kids and children of all ages. I was in this moment, present and a live. Living the beauty that was being performed before me. For those moments, and then it rippled off a bit, I felt fulfilled, grateful, and joyful.
I left the b.s. beside, backstage and enjoyed. I was filled with love, compassion, commitment.

It makes me think about when I was a child in school and loving some special events like ice cream socials. Not knowing that a lot of caos was most likely going on behind the scenes.
It makes me think about how these beautiful moment keep me going when behind the scenes it feels like a war. It is these moments that make me want to fight for this joy.

What are you grateful for this very day?

Tonight, a finished painting called Shabbat UU

2006-05-24T23:46:00.000+02:00

“An artist cannot be continually wielding a brush. An artist must stop painting at times to freshen his or her vision. Living is also an art. We dare not become so absorbed in its technical processes that we lose our consciousness of its general plan. The Sabbath represents those moments when we pause in our brushwork to renew our vision. Having done so, we take ourselves to our painting with clarified vision and renewed energy. This applies to the individual and to the community alike.”
- Mordecai Kaplan

This is the text that is on the top part of the painting I just finished tonight.

I'm in a class currently about living a balanced life and our "home play" last week was to come up with a few things that we would like to do and then pick one and Do IT! so I did, I finished this painting that has been waiting for a while. Enjoy!

Shabbat UU (Unitarian Univeralist)

Shalom.

Shabbat to me is....?

Dancing in a group

2006-05-07T21:09:00.000+02:00

Today, was a party for Israel Independence day.
The party, festival, gathering was at Twarda and I was not sure if I was going to go or not. But I did and it was great. It was nice to run into so many good people and to dance!
I love to dance today with people in a group. When I was young I was really shy about things like this but now it doesn't bother me so much if I don't get the steps right. It is just wonderful to be together with people holding onto each others hands and moving in space together. Listening to the music and smiling such big smiles at perfect strangers!

One thing that could maybe get Poland to loosen up on a few things, perhaps some dancing together in groups! Perhaps I'll start some at the next rally or protest.

What dancing do you dig?

Free love

2006-05-07T20:56:00.000+02:00

I'm in the paper again. For some reason the Polish papers like me and seem to get photos of me at rallies and protests. This paper is called NIE (NO). A friend of mind found my photo and so then, I found the paper.

The text on my flag reads:
-Education for Understanding and
-Homophobia is a Social disease

Summary in English Translated by: Greg Czarnecki

It's already getting hot regarding june's events. The chief of police, who wants to be the next mayor, hasn't said "no" yet but he also hasn't said "yes". So the fate of the parade and festival are going to be left to the last minute.To make gays and lesbians look bad, the nation's conservative, commercial and thoughtless media is representing the event with images from the Love Parade, which is a purely commercial event with plenty of provocative images. while the events in warsaw will be cultural. The most interesting event will probably be Teddy on Tour in warsaw, films from the Berlin film fest, showing the best films which can't be seen in PL otherwise. There will also be a conference and a debate in the Sejm about European policy towards LGBT. There will be a concert with Kimmy Somerville.

On June 10 will be the Equality Parade. It's meant for women, gays,les, black, Vietnamese, alterglobalists, ecologists, pacifists..will it take place?

The police chief M. Kochalski is afraid. If he doesn't allow it he'll be seen as intolerant. If he does he risks his rightwing voting block in warsaw. They're looking for a pretext to ban the march. For now they're hanging on a rumor that someone will sing a rap song about how the warsaw mermaid was lesbian. The city has already prepared a reply that she wasn't a lesbian and the face was a modeled after a warsaw uprising heroin Krystyna Krahelska. Krahelska was leftist though sheÂs amongst KaczynskiÂs favorites of the uprising characters. And for defaming these people and the mermaid, the city is preparing to proactively ban the march. This is how in the defense of the Warsaw uprising and the real gender of the mermaid they might ban a film fest, seminar and parade.

What does Free love mean to you?

Hope- guides you on your way

2006-05-02T20:31:00.000+02:00

This Mandala was made at the Retreat in my group by Jesse age:12

I just got back from an EUU (European Unitarian Universalist)
Spring retreat.

I feel Hope.
I feel peace.
I feel loved, and cared for.
I feel a singing soul, a silly smile and a huggable body.

I have Hope.

"This is it" "It's life, and it's really happening, right now"

What gives you hope?

Matzo Ball Soup for Easter

2006-04-16T22:51:00.000+02:00

This past Wednesday was the first night of Passover, therefore the first Seder. On the 2nd night- the 2nd seder. For the 1st I attended Beit Warszawa a progressive Jewish Community Center, and for the 2nd, I attended a PUSZ (Polish Union of Jewish Students). Both were interesting and enjoyable in their own ways.

So, that filled up Wed, and Thursday night. Friday night was normal Sabbat and I attended Beit because a Rabbi from the states was talking which seemed interesting. During dinner I met a couple (Rabbis) that are traveling around Europe in a Van that will talk on Saturday, so I decided to go to Beit again on Saturday.

After all that, and I have to remind you we are in Poland here. Most everyone is getting their baskets blessed for Easter, so Saturday night I put a basket together with all the pieces that are pretty much the same as on a seder plate to get blessed. Got to Church and missed to boat on that, but something else was going on....
I remember the secretary at the UU church I worked at telling me about how special Holy Saturday is. How the whole church is dark and then slowly it becomes brighter and brighter.
That is what happened in this church around the corner from my home. We sat in the darkness, the quiet darkness that you would never find with that many Jews in one place :), and waited.
A bonfire was built outside and eventualy church clergy folk went outside in a procession, collected the fire on their little candle sticks and processed into the church. As they came in the flame was passed on, and one to everyone who brought in there own candle stick. We didn't have a candle, but a basket in hand, so just enjoy the spiritual surrounding as the light and warmth filled the church.
After a while, since we were at the back, we snuck out the back door and went home. I mean I had things to do. Like make Matzo Ball Soup for Easter.
Yup that is correct. I attend a bunch of Seders, went to "Temple" on Fri, Sat and then to church on Saturday night. On Sunday, I didn't attend church, but attended a family lunch/dinner, Easter Dinner should I say.

Oh, I'm going on and on.
It's just been really interesting growing up Unitarian Universalist with Jews on one side of my family and Catholics on the other. I think about how it in some way is beautiful, how in other ways it is challenging to go from one holiday to the next, how it is important to me to up hold the beliefs I have . And if that be making Matzo Ball soup because it rocks, and I know it from when I was a child to cooking it late at night on Saturday because the day was filled with prayer, song, rabbi lectures, church candles and more, let it be.
Let it be what it is.
And let everyone enjoy the conversation , the soup, the songs, light and most of all the new growth, new life of spring time.

What special ways to you honor spring time struggles, festival, family, faith?

The Universe Says it's Spring...So when will it arrive?

2006-03-22T16:18:00.000+01:00

It's Spring.
The eve was on Monday at about 6.26 universal time.
The first full day on Tuesday and now today, Wednesday, it should really feel like spring right?

Well, it doesn't so much, when you look outside the window, but inside I can feel it. The air feels a bit new, the sunshine for sure and the birds know what the universe is saying. With this new season of spring, it bring thoughts to me of new beginnings, new stories to share, new clothes, new ways to save. New, new, new..

I know that this "newness" might not look so "new" to everyone but sometimes it is also something that is difficult to see but it will slowly blossom into something beautiful. Just like all the trees at this very moment, you can't see the spring in them but it is right at the tips of the branches and will arrive at the least expected moments.

'to every season there is a purpose'.... this season of spring, I know will bring new surprises and I open my soul to what they might be.
I know it might be different, colorful, perhaps big and scary but, i'm ready for it!

Spring, come surround me with your newness,
come sing to me at sunrise,
come dance with me as the moon rises in the sky and
come comfort me with changes that will appear under my feet.

How does spring feel to you?

Nana - I think about you lots

2006-03-03T00:13:00.000+01:00

(Nana and I when I was a bitty one, I still am but not that small)

On March 3rd, 1997 - Bernice Krogal Passed on.
I can't believe it have been 9 years. Her Family was from Poland.
Where? not quite sure but she would be pretty amazed to know that I've been hanging out on this side of the world, in Warsaw,PL for about 3.5 years now. My Polish is jako-tako, I eat a bunch of fresh food and in the warm weather like to hang out and garden. I'm a busy bee just like her. Can't really just sit down for a few minutes, I need to always be doing something. Today, I'll light a candle for her and perhaps eat some sweets and clean up a bit. She always kept such a nice neat and clean home. I love you nana and miss you a bunch. Wishing you could see me now. Who do you wish could see you now?

sort of non 9-5

2006-02-24T10:51:00.000+01:00

I basically work a 9-5ish 'job'.
I teach Art at a school. I'm not full time but when I think about it, it seems pretty full, over full to me.
I teach mon-fri but not 9-5 more like 10-3,4,5,6,7...Depending on the day.

Recently we closed a week with a big Art Opening on Friday with
Kids, Parents, friends, teachers, etc attending for the fun event.

It was then over, the high fell and it was time to pack up and go home.

Relax? Next? not quite...but I remember what this feels like,
I used to mostly just work on Big Community projects and it was tons of prep work, then the event, then a big crash, relax time.

The difference with the school setting is that the crash time is more like prep for the next event, projects, ideas.

I'm hoping to find a way to balance this all out.
I suppose it's all about the waves of water, the in and the out, the low and the high...and when to know what will happen. I suppose once you find the rythum it all just flows like the water has done for years.
I suppose this new month of Pisces is a good time to think about water, waves and ripplies.
I mean I love the work but sometimes I wish I could just take that little break from planning projects and relax.

I've done a bit of that this past week when we had off from school. I hope to do more in the future.
This week involved-
-cross country skiing
-sleeping in late
-reading
-cooking
-Taking lots of baths in Water!

It also involved working and planning a bunch.
But I like that stuff.

But, I also know there 'is time and space for everything'

On, Sunday I had dinner at Olga's Aunt and Uncles and its amazing how good it feel to be in a different space and not have my computer, paper, books, projects to tempt me to get involved.
Sometimes it feels great to send e-cards, drink tea and wine, be overfed and watch the birds go by.

Wondering what 9-5 means any way? A job? It's it more like life?

moving too fast to see, to feel

2006-02-09T22:35:00.000+01:00

It was one of those days,
today that went so fast that it was hard to feel. But, it also stabbed me with pain. One of thoses days filled with mixing colours and sewing up pillows but, hurt with not knowing about printing photos and what my place is. One of thoses days that slush made me walk slower and it felt good. A day with shared pancakes and not enough time for tea. A day with wondering why I go to the orphanage, when it makes more sense to reflect on how many different ways you can create an object. It's been a day with pizza for dinner, a bath for dessert, and on the computer for more work. One of those days that moves so fast. Oh, storm of life, please slow down. I'd like to smell the drawn rose flowers using the "Ms. Evonne, that machine is smart!"(Overhead projector).

I suppose when I look back on this day, it wasn't that it was so fast, it was that I didn't get to feel more bits of each part.
More bits of the joy of the children sewing for their first time.
More bits of mixing colors.
More bits of realizing that she said I'm sorry.

..."How can I keep from singing"

It's real, right now.

2006-02-05T18:29:00.000+01:00

"It's life and it's really happening, right now". -Christine in the movie Me and You and Everyone we Know

As the evening continues, I think about my love, my life, work, joys and concerns. Last Sunday, was the new moon of Shevat. I brought over a geranium plant and it brighten up the room for our gathering. At night when the lights we all off she whispered to come look at this. It was the shadow of the plant on the wall. It was a magical site. It was life at that moment.

Life is happening right now, it is true and I try to live in those moment but sometimes it's difficult to not look forward and wonder.
Wonder about Love.

What's love got to do with it? What's love got to do with it?

Designing Buildings

2006-01-21T15:40:00.000+01:00

Adding Paper Tiles
Originally uploaded by Laura's Fotos.

Year 2 students at the British School in Warsaw have been looking at the Austrian Artist Mr. Hunderwasser.

On Friday that started to add on colorful shinny paper tiles.

If you could design your own home,
what would the outside look like?

The New Year of 2006

2006-01-10T18:02:00.000+01:00

This new year was brought in with a bunch of "EuroJews" in Berlin.
We had a blast at a silly party dancing around, serving strong drinks, lighting sparklers and smiling a bunch.
It was nice.

About a week has past and since then the New Year in Poland has seen 3 days in a row of Sunshine! I couldn't even show my Year 6 students a computer presentation because the sun was shining so much in the room. How great is that!

Now, a few days later, the sun has hidden behind the clouds and it is gray again.
Tonight I bought myself some sweet smelling spring flowers to bring some light into my soul.

Wishing for sunshine all around.

What brings sunshine into your life when the weather is gray?

The Winter Solstice

2005-12-20T13:45:00.000+01:00

Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
The shortest day and longest night of the year.

Winter Solstice Mandala by Laura

The time when the Sun is born again;
the time when the darkness will get less,
and the lightness will become more and more.

A time to stop and listen to the earth.
A time to light and watch the warmth of the fire with loved ones,
and friends you have not met yet.

It's the shortest day that we yearn for to bring the brightness back.
Slowly, Slowly, sparkling on the white snow that will follow in the next months.
Slowly, quietly, and with patience the Sun will bring us peace again
and bring us into the New Year.

Blessings for Evergreens to surround you;
for fires to bring you peace, and for the
bits of Sun light to radiate through you.

What do you think of when you think of the Winter Sun?

"we see things are we are, not as they are" - Anais Nin

2005-12-11T17:30:00.000+01:00

So,
I've been pondering all this Christmas "Aura".
I posted about it in my last post and then since then I was asked to create a Nativity Scene for the school Hall. "Oh Boza" (Oh, god). I said right away. NO, I just can't do it. My Unitarian Universalist self just couldn't put up an image that was so Christian related in a school with such religious diversity. Besides that at School I'm pretty sure they think I'm more Jewish then Unitarian so It was pretty strange to be given this task.

Yes, I am the art teacher...anyway...So, the discussion got deeper and deeper and perhaps worse and worse. The next day went on and I didn't see the teacher (who is religiously and spiritually Catholic). I think she must have been avoiding me. Sort of sad because I feel like we have connected in ways that we can talk about spirituality openly and I know that we are both spiritual people.
I did send her an e-mail that night saying that I'm sorry we are not looking at this the same way but I hope in the future we can work together. I also included this text...

The work of Christmas:

When the song of the angels is stilled,

When the star in the sky is gone,

When the kings and the princes are home,

When the shepherds are back with their flocks,

The work of Christmas begins:

To find the lost,

To heal the broken,

To feed the hungry,

To release the prisoner,

To rebuild the nations,

To bring peace among brothers,

To make music in the heart.

-Howard Thurman. African American Theologian

Then, the next evening I came home and decided to listen to a Unitarian Universalist (UU) Sermon on-line. I do this sometimes. They are from the new ministers in the church I grew up in. It was:

Believing is Seeing: A Lesser Known UU Act of Faith
by Parish Co-Minister Scott Tayler

streaming
download

December 4, 2005

So, Scott starts talking and then leads into this quote:
"we see things are we are, not as they are" - Anais Nin

So, right on. I was seeing the manger from my eyes of course and not from the fact they the school was putting on a "Christmas Concert" if I liked it or not. So, while listening some more, I got on-line and just googled manger scenes just to see what one looks like. I mean I know, I made them in Church at a teen. I just wanted to sedifferentnt ways that it was represepnted. Then, I did some other searches with Christmas and Poland and then...there it was... a Traditional Polish papercutting of the Nativity Scene. I had it. I LOVE papercuttings and felt like it would be great to show the nativity scene in this way. I got out some small paper and started to cut. After the little one was done. I was on a roll and new that big white paper would be around the house, so I looked around and found some old big Calender posters with images on one side and white on that back. I taped 2 together ( it was about the side of 2 small kids).
Then, folded the paper in half, drew out half the image and started to cut, cut, cut as our little cat was crawling all over everything, little paper pieces all over the place. Olga walks in the door and was like "what are you doing?", I said it came to me! Just a minute and you will see!

She saw it and new what it was right away.

[ on a side note. I showed it to my Jewish friend in Poland and she thought it was something about some sort of table with something on it. It is so true how we see things how WE are, or how we were raised, with words and images surrouding us. The Nativity scene isn't as common as mud to everyone, which is refreshing for sure!]

...So, the next day I got up early, went to school before the big "Christmas Fair" and stuck the paper cutting on red paper and then onto the Schools Hall wall...walked a way and didn't say a word to anyone about it for a couple days, then I printed out text about paper cutting and the Polish history put it next to the art and signed my name. Ms. Evonne

On the last day of school before break, the music teacher came up to me and said Thank you, just a simple:
thank you.

I went to my little office and what was on my desk? A little handmade card with candles on it and inside: Happy Chanukah Love, Katazyna (the music teacher)

...and the story goes on. While all this was happening I was trying to get the schools aims and philosophyhy statement to see if they were Christmasan based. Got it and nothing about religion at all. So, I wrote a little e-mail saying I was surprised about all the very Christmas things happening at school. Didn't get any e-mails back. Then saw the women in school I was e-mailing and voiced my concern. She was interested in my thoughts about how to make the Holiday Season more inclusive. I said her some of my ideas and we will be talking more inthe new year!

What does your baggage look like? and where are you going?

It's so important to know what we travel with.
I have to remind myself of this too.

a surprise Peace Tree

2005-12-07T22:04:00.000+01:00

This Autumn, in Art class I made Nature Art Mandalas with Year 2 Ms. Langley's class. The Mandalas were then displayed around the 2L Door for weeks. One day as the seasons were turing to Winter, I walked into school and noticed that the Mandalas had been taken down. I figured that Ms. Langley gave then to the kids and they brought then home. But, I was wrong. I walked into their room and where were their amazing mandalas?- they were dressings the tree! They looked like these amazing colorful glass balls.

Why was I so happy?
I've been struggling a little bit because it is the first time that I'm teaching in a private school that focuses a bunch on Christmas at this time of the year. I'm used to a much more diverse way of Celebrating this Holiday time of the year. So, to come into her room and see these Mandalas, these Nature- circles of peace covering the tree, it just felt so right!

The Evergreen tree reminding us that green will come again even in the darkest, grayest time of the year and that Peace will surround us all.

Blessings for a Peaceful Holiday Season with a bunch of glitter on top!

How do you celebrate this dark time of the year? What Peaceful things do you do?

Red Ribbons

2005-12-01T09:49:00.000+01:00

May we move with our hearts to end
suffering world wide.

What can you do in your local community?

200% feelings

2005-11-30T22:35:00.001+01:00

So, I wish that I wasn't always a crab.
Sign of cancer.
A feeling sign...because
I feel about 200% or more with most things to heart, art, hear in my ear and soul and feel and beat.
I feel it all and it gets to be a little to much some of the time.

Wishin' I could take a little vacation from some of my thoughts and feelings or somehow put them in some sort of order so that everything isn't 200% all at once.

How much do you feel?

Flags for Equality

2005-11-27T20:35:00.000+01:00

Flags all around today that started at about noon in Warsaw, Poland. It was a protest for Equal Rights. A protest in reaction to a march that was banned in another city in Poland last week. I would say about 500 people showed up of all ages. Folks voicing their concerns and waving flags with rainbows on them, stars of David, text about democracy, words about a green earth, etc. It was in Polish so I understood some of the talking that was going on. But just being there with everyone helps to make me think that.....

Never doubt that a small group
of thoughtful committed citizens
can change the world, Indeed
it's the only thing that ever has.
-Margaret Mead

I also believe that it is Education at all levels that will end hate, because it is so much of the time about not understanding. Fearing what you don't know, that creates hate. What can you Educate yourself on today?

freaked out for no reason

2005-11-21T20:13:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I get freaked out for no reason.
Of course, I don't know it is no reason to get freaked out until it is over.
I do know that freaking out uses a bunch of energy that could be put to a better use.

Today I was a bit freaked out that bringing out block printing ink and printing with about 20 7 year olds was going to be...Well, something to freak out about.

Nope not at all.

They worked together, well most of them and their prints for the first time turned out great. And cleaning up- wow such clean printing plates.

Later I was reminded that I forgot to give them stamps. Next week. Stamps on both hands!

After lunch.. was the year 1 students from class "O". -a hard one.
As I walked into the room their teacher said...just FYI they aren't really focused today and just somewhere else.
Great, I thought. I'm already a bit worried about doing paper weaving with the group but we will get to it.
And what do you know... they were super!
From folding to cutting, measuring to cutting some more,...cut, cut, cut STOP; then over and under like our little wave pictures. First with our hands and arms all together and then with the paper strips. Over and under, Over and under..etc.

They got it.

You would have never known they were on a different planet today.
It might have been the best day so far. Perhaps it's better when we are all on a different planet.

So, that goes for using my energy and freaking out today.
I'm going to try and think peaceful painting and delicate diorama thoughts for tomorrow's year 5 and 6 classes.

What do you freak out about for no reason?

2nd bit of snow, or first

2005-11-18T09:29:00.000+01:00

Here in Warsaw, Poland
the 2nd bits of
snow are
falling
from
the sky.

Yesterday at school a few fell
but they were more like sleet (sp?). Today it's the real deal.

Friday, November 18th, 2005

What's the weather like where your eye gaze?

a purple sea urchin day

2005-11-17T17:22:00.000+01:00

Sometimes it just feels so right to know that I am where I should be.

Sometimes I don't have any idea where I should be, or go, or do. But today, I was a little purple sea urchin way at the bottom of the sea with 15 other little beings and it felt...just right, just right.

We curled up into little balls on the carpet and quietly lay there. Every once in a while something like a shark (Daniel said) would come along and scare us and our little spikey-spikes would stick out, but then we would float around a bit more and get relaxed.

It was purple day in nursery SK at the British School in Warsaw. I'm the art teacher there.
I wore all purple for the occasion. As little purple sea urchins ourselves we then created some arty ones also.

These, little bitty ones learn so quickly and are so beautiful. I feel so honored to be able to share time with them.

If you come spend more time with little bitty ones,
what would you do?

full moon light

2005-11-15T22:51:00.000+01:00

It's a full moon night
a quiet one,
a cold one,
a peaceful stay all inside my bed one.

a don't get wet one,
a drink tea in bed one.

a snuggle with a cat one
or perhaps it's time to take a night time nap one.

Blessed be, big O in the sky.
oh, how much i wish I could fly...

If you had wings where would you go on this night time moon light night?

back in warsaw again

2005-11-14T19:16:00.000+01:00

back in warsaw again after a weekend of "pounds" spending-gallery going, theater watchings, coffee drinkings, tube train underground travelings.
Way up in the sky flyings.

My thoughts flow a bit slower now....Mercury just came into rectrograde.
A cold has set into my right nostral and perhaps a fever.
Our little tobi ginny pig passed on, the cat loves to swim and I'd like to do some swimming also.
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ripples of clear water pass over and on.

How do you like to travel?

gray it is

2005-11-10T19:33:00.000+01:00

The grayness has been for about 3 days and I'm not quite sure when it will lift. It's got my head and heart and mood.

I'm off to London for the first time jutro rano (tomorrow am) and I'm not sure it will be that different.(the weather that is)
From what I know, people wear long coats and hats and carry around umbrellas a bunch. Well at least in paintings I've seen from being in art school years back. I'll see for myself tomorrow morning.

At the playground at school today I carried around a little bucket of colored chalked. It will be the 2nd week I've done that now on my "garden duty" from 12-12:30pm. I just hold the bucket filled with colorful chalked and little ones just come up and take a few out and return them when they are done. Today a space rocket, little colored in blocks, an egg, numbers and little girls were drawn. Oh, and a bunch of arrows pointing in ways to follow also. One little one in Year 1S thanked me today for letting her use the chalk.

This evening at the Dom Dziecka (Children's Home) I just had a few little ones. We drew Polish Eagles for Independence day tomorrow November 11th. They kept saying "I can't" I can't". I'm not sure they get that much time in school to draw what they see without getting in trouble if it is not perfect. Little by little one of the little ones drew and glued. She got it! I'd say she's one of my regulars on Thursday nights at 6pm.

wishing for the watery gray clouds to part a bit, a rainbow to appear and some ...."The Sun will come out tomorrow"...

I'm sure it's a hard life for all of us in different ways.

Waves of blessings of peace.

What do you wish for?

sleepy morning

2005-11-09T10:47:00.000+01:00

It's a sleep morning here in Stary (old) Mokotow, Warsaw.
The sky is a thick white/gray blanket.
The tree leaves are hardly moving.
...wishin' I could just cuddle up inside my warm blankets today.
But, work I must go.

Sometimes, well a bunch of time I wish we could all go back in time when we really did listen to the earth and what is was saying to us. Today it would say..."Stay inside today child of the universe, stay inside and enjoy the quiet stillness of this white autumn morning."

Perhaps I'll listen a little and move a little slower and little quieter today.

How's the weather where you are?

thoughts that flow like water

2005-11-08T21:39:00.000+01:00

I'll start with how wonderful it is to take a warm bath on a dark night, in a quiet house after a dr. apt. How soothing and calming the water is.